Celebrity Haiku

Steven Berlin Johnson

 

TV makes you smart

pop culture manifesto

why'd I write a book

Minor... very minor... (unless you're part of the New-Brooklyn Hipster Revival effort) celebrity news and celebrity gossip: Steven Berlin Johnson spotted challenging Jonathan Safran Foer to a contest of both wits and irony at a gentrified Park Slope party.

Eye witnesses report that the duo dueled for the regional Park Slope Post-Modern Heavyweight Title. Foer won the first through the third rounds by starting a fake blog making fun of his post-modern, witty, and ironic lifestyle, but Steven "Fiction is for Wimps" Johnson scored a late round knock out by writing a book about how today's TV pop culture makes us smarter. The writer was quoted as saying after the fight that, "the book has been translated into 13 languages already including Latin, Aramaic, and cave wall drawings." Foer was last seen trapped in Malcolm Gladwell's hair . hmmm...

Jonathan Safran Foer

latte in park slope

I'm flagrantly pretentious

but i am profound

Celebrity News, Celebrity Gossip: Jonathan Safran Foer starts his own blog. His goals are stated as, "Being less pretentious than I am in my books, but more pretentious than I am when I eat a profound breakfast of ironic bacon and postmodern eggs," he said as he pointed to a calendar clearly marked year 5765.

Is he from the future or just Jewish?

Jon Stewart and Walmart - Celebrity News, Celebrity Gossip

Big Brother redux
Wal-Mart family values
sweatshops good skin bad

Celebrity news, celebrity gossip - Walmart press release from USA Today: "Jon Stewart is a horrible human being."
Celebrity news, celebrity gossip - Walmart press release for tomorrow: Old naked men are not allowed, but young, full-breasted women and innocent children are acceptable subjects for photographers in America's Heartland".

Once again:

Books about politics are bad:

Books with naked women are family friendly fun:

THIS JUST IN - Walmart clarifies policies on sweatshops saying that, "We really hate liberals like Jon Stewart because they promote intelligent, consentual sex between adults, but we love sweatshops. They keep prices low and let's us sell cheap, hypocritical kiddie porn for less, too.

Alan Hollinghurst - Celebrity News, Celebrity Gossip

what i like is i'm
not famous rich or sexy
but at least I won

Celebrity news and celebrity gossip overheard at Interpol: Jump squads and SWAT teams quietly assembled special forces under the ledge where four runner-ups stood silently as Alan Hollinghurst accepted the Booker Prize for fiction for his novel, "The Line of Beauty."

Arthur Miller - Celebrity News, Celebrity Gossip

regret spliced with script
hold on to the bitter end
plays about my wife

Celebrity news, celebrity gossip - Arthur Miller debuts new script, "Finishing the Picture," at age 89. Rejected titles included, "The Dubious Case of Monroe, Maryland" and "I was there before JFK."

John Updike

sending in new book
publisher suggests title
give rabbit a rest