Celebrity Haiku

Madonna - New album coming out that has an "honest" title...

top hats make me smart
fake english accents help too
IQ is skin deep

Celebrity News, Celebrity Gossip - First it was a fake British accent (she grew up in DETROIT of all places), then it was the top hats, and now it's the new album title, "Confessions on the Dance Floor." Her psychiatrist (we have the same one) told me that she wasn't hugged enough as a child and is making up for it. Must be that tough love Detroit mum thing.

Maybe it's the fact that Demi Moore just took Madonna's old job as the Face of Versace

Technorati Tags: Celebrity, Celebrity Gossip, Celebrity Haiku, Celebrity News, Celebs, confessions on the dance floor, demi moore, Fashion, Gossip, Haiku, Madonna, versace

U2 - Celebrity News, Celebrity Gossip

I need attention
everyone look at me please
donate to cronies

now with MUSIC DOWNLOAD (U2 audio bittorrent mp3) and music download #2 (U2 performing One and Unchained Melody )

Celebrity News - Live8 performers wowed the world with a show tonight on trampoline. The Hendersons were all there as Bono and friends put on a show on cable TV... in a largely naive event of western grandstanding for the absolute best of causes, hundreds of artists performed to raise money for Africa's largely ineffective, military dictatorships. Guests reported every band member "smoking the funny grass" that had all of them hallucinating and thinking that the money they raised would end up in the hands of the people.

If people gave 1 billion dollars to the US congress, how much of it would end up in the hands of the citizens? Yeah, none. How much do you think would go to African citizens? Logic sucks doesn't it?

Technorati Tags: 8, BitTorrent, Concert, Concerts, Download, Download Music, Live, Live 8, Live8, mp3, Music, U2, Torrent, U2

Charlotte Church - Celebrity News, Celebrity Gossip

these are just some of
the mistakes we knew we were
making at the time

Celebrity News, Celebrity Gossip - In regards to the question of whether or not she would ever make another movie, Charlotte Church finally comes to grips with the obvious telling reporters, "I will never inflict such hurt and fear upon the general population again." We'll pray that that means, "NO."

I can't even lie though because I did see it, and I will never forgive myself for not blowing the measly $20 that Virgin Atlantic charged to watch a movie of my choice instead of I'll Be There.

ps. Am I the only person that automatically starts into the Friends theme song (by the Rembrandts) every time someone says the phrase, "I'll be there."

Come on... you know you do! All together now (lyrics after the jump!)

Technorati Tags: Celebrity, Celebrity Gossip, Celebrity News, Charlotte Church, Friends, I'll be there for you, Movies, Gossip

Britney Spears to pose NUDE - Celebrity News, Celebrity Gossip

fat naked pregnant
just about eight years too late
buy Vanity Fair

Celebrity News, Celebrity Gossip, Celebrity Hearsay from Teen Magazines (why do we let kids read this anyway? and how do I get a subscription?) - Britney Spears will pose nude for Vanity Fair magazine. The downside is that she's pregnant and storing fat for hibernation glowingly curvaceous; the upside is that she'll still be naked.

The real downside though is that she'll probably do that childish "am I naked or am I not?" two-fingers-over-her-nipples crap. Why so illogically puritanical when you've already turned an entire generation of pre-pubescent girls into an army of sluts who think the female body is always for sale strong, chaste women with a non-existent a great body image!

ps. A note to Vanity Fair:

naked means nipple

Technorati Tags: Britney Spears, Britney Spears Nude, Vanity Fair, Vanity Fair

Eminem - Celebrity News, Celebrity Gossip

Detroit needs saving
Slim Shady to the rescue
ninety years too late

Celebrity News, Celebrity Gossip - Eminem comes to save Detroit's fireworks show saying, "This is my city, and I think that we need to make sure it stays as wonderful as it was when I was growing up here in 8 mile. It ain't just a movie; it's my life." The actor's solicited suggestions from the crowd of how to improve Detroit other than just more fireworks (really how far can 80,000 sparkers and roman candles go?), but the most often heard suggestion from the crowd had to do with handing out toilet bowl cleaner to the remaining inmates citizens.

Technorati Tags: Detroit, Eminem, Urban Planning

Scott Weiland - Celebrity News

tour cut short by bangs
slash's hair too long for me
track lines re-appear

Celebrity News - Velvet Revolver's tour supposedly isn't cut short because of drug abuse and it supposedly isn't cut off by ego-tripping rock stars; people are reporting it's just because they have to get into the studio to be good, hardworking gentlemen and get their new album out so the kids can have it for Christmas. Right.

Thanks to Music Cherry for the info. Check it out- it's an outstanding place to download music and get music recommendations.

Ben Folds - Celebrity News

wimp rock for minors
abortion song made career
new disc comes with pill

Celebrity News - Ben Folds has a new album out, and it's not about abortion. CNN.com predicts, "His career will tank," while Ben replies, "It tanked when I named Ben Folds Five's third album after the first man to climb Mt. Everest alone... kids get abortions all the time now so that's a topic they can relate to, heck, half of their parents probably thought about aborting them, but the whole concept album thing where you have to have a full attention span probably turned a lot of people off."

Celebrity News - The Counting Crows

Duritz must accept it
everyone hates Counting Crows
Hootie is their fate

Celebrity News - The iPod War has begun. Method play - set your iPods at random, take turns playing a song from each, whoever has the best song of the round wins.

Rule #1 - Counting Crows always lose
Rule #2 - Counting Crows always lose
Rule #3 - Whining about how "good" August and Everything After was as an album is prohibited if you were younger than fourteen when it came out.

PS. Eventhough Adam Duritz has outstanding taste in music, he still looks like SideShow Bob

 

... *and* he dates the best thing to happen to the West Wing's entire third season, Mary Louise Parker.

Moby - Celebrity News, Celebrity Gossip

no one knows i rock
punk techno new wave and dance
i cry in my tea

Breaking News - Moby only makes vegan techno music!

This just in... he apparently also does punk, new wave, rock, hard rock, and emo all from the penthouse of a Lower East Side luxury hotel.

Ashlee Simpson - Celebrity News, Celebrity Gossip

I played with fire
was this not bound to happen
my sucking revealed

Amazing celebrity news... something I've been waiting for since Milli Vanilli:
a 2mb clip of Ashlee Simpson making Britney Spears look talented

Check www.collegehumor.com for more videos like this, and check out Erich Ian's blog (yep, that's Erich with an H) because he gave me an oh so nice link and is spreading the celebrity news about Ashlee Simpson He seems to have outstanding taste, too.