don't order the veal
if you drank a fifth alone
the floor thanks you sir
Celebrity News, Celebrity Gossip - Justin Timberlake, who was recently trumped by one Mr. Kevin Federline in the race to thin out the human gene pool, denied puking in his own restaurant, Chi. Eyewitnesses said it was the booze, the NY Post said it was the booze, and his press agent says he never puked in his own restaurant. Whom to believe!??
these are just some of
the mistakes we knew we were
making at the time
Celebrity News, Celebrity Gossip - In regards to the question of whether or not she would ever make another movie, Charlotte Church finally comes to grips with the obvious telling reporters, "I will never inflict such hurt and fear upon the general population again." We'll pray that that means, "NO."
I can't even lie though because I did see it, and I will never forgive myself for not blowing the measly $20 that Virgin Atlantic charged to watch a movie of my choice instead of I'll Be There.
ps. Am I the only person that automatically starts into the Friends theme song (by the Rembrandts) every time someone says the phrase, "I'll be there."
Come on... you know you do! All together now (lyrics after the jump!)
I blog on list A
taller lankier woody
the new neurotic
Celebrity News, Celebrity Gossip, Celebrity Hotness - That tricky dicky Zach Braff who pretended to write a very good, very funny movie with the best soundtrack since Pulp Fiction just so he could kiss Natalie Portman, is now an A-list blogger. Blogebrity, the blog that keeps bloggers in a hierarchical, ego-bruising list, has put Zach Braff on its A-list. He deserve it if only for his evil plan to (dare I repeat the dream?) kiss Natalie Portman.
Looks vs. Looks , Ms. Portman wins my heart, but if I were the kind of dude that cared about personality I would snooker down with Mr. Braff any day. Who wants to bed down with the head IJC anyway? (IJC = net-speak for J.A.P.)
fat naked pregnant
just about eight years too late
buy Vanity Fair
Celebrity News, Celebrity Gossip, Celebrity Hearsay from Teen Magazines (why do we let kids read this anyway? and how do I get a subscription?) - Britney Spears will pose nude for Vanity Fair magazine. The downside is that she's pregnant and storing fat for hibernation glowingly curvaceous; the upside is that she'll still be naked.
The real downside though is that she'll probably do that childish "am I naked or am I not?" two-fingers-over-her-nipples crap. Why so illogically puritanical when you've already turned an entire generation of pre-pubescent girls into an army of sluts who think the female body is always for sale strong, chaste women with a non-existent a great body image!
world domination oh I am the warrior you weak minded fool
Celebrity News, Celebrity Gossip - Apple is coming out with a new signature iPod line featuring Stewie from The Family Guy. Sources say that the new iPod model will feature among other things, "a laser that can be set to either kill or disintegrate, and a selection of pre-loaded Scandal songs."
Apple says that this iPod will, "definitely not compete the with the George Bush iDebate model of 2004."
Detroit needs saving
Slim Shady to the rescue
ninety years too late
Celebrity News, Celebrity Gossip - Eminem comes to save Detroit's fireworks show saying, "This is my city, and I think that we need to make sure it stays as wonderful as it was when I was growing up here in 8 mile. It ain't just a movie; it's my life." The actor's solicited suggestions from the crowd of how to improve Detroit other than just more fireworks (really how far can 80,000 sparkers and roman candles go?), but the most often heard suggestion from the crowd had to do with handing out toilet bowl cleaner to the remaining inmates citizens.
old dirty lechers
age 27 and up
younger it's ok
Celebrity News, Celebrity Gossip - Havoc (aka Anne Hathaway Gets Naked ) finally starts premiering around the world.
"Young boys reportedly are forming a candlelight vigil outside of the young actress's Brooklyn, NY apartment, while old men stock up on "dancing knickers" and shaving cream in attempt to ready themselves to woo the actress into their lairs."
Those are the AP's words not mine.
that's my cartoon man
or could it be a ziggy
it's still not funny
Celebrity News, Celebrity Coincidence - Remember that episode of Seinfeld when Elaine steals a joke from a Ziggy cartoon? I thought you did!
Well it just happened in real life for the New Yorker: Someone stole a Farside cartoon and tried to pass it off as his own and Gary Larsen's triple bypass surgery was rescheduled to loss of revenues from the possible plagiarism.
looking for film work was knocked up in a jetta now i'm their spokesgirl
Celebrity News, Celebrity Gossip - Lacey Chabert gets pregnant in the back of a VW Jetta, and signs a contract to be their spokesgirl as a barter to keep her quiet about the producer of her movie moving his "casting couch" to the parking lot... at least that's what her publicist "denied."
Celebrity Baby Blog For some this is a celebrity news blog from coolest, bestest, neato-est site ever, and for others it is a constant reminder of the dangers of social darwinism
Rance's Blog Anonymous, A-list Hollywood star rants (get it?... took me a while, and now I like to point it out) about his absurd life... I think it's Jim Carrey, but we might never know. If "Rance" commits suicide after he doesn't win an oscar for Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, we might have a confirmation.
ExplodingDog.com A diary of existential feelings culled together by one person's brilliance.... I like to read it when I'm sad.